So the algorithm ranked Rookiescale’s Top 100… but my cousin’s draft pick still lives in his mom’s basement with a $2 hoodie and zero Wi-Fi. Jalen Lewis got elite court vision? Nah — he just hacked his Xbox to simulate ‘steal-to-assist ratio’ during lunch. Meanwhile, Malik Vance is out here trying to dunk through the rim like it’s a Netflix documentary shot at 3 AM. Not tall enough? Nah. Just broke the system. Who else is watching this list? You.

P.S. If you didn’t play basketball… did you at least pay rent this month? Vote below.

£40m for a kid who still lives with his mum?

Let’s be real — Harvey Elliott’s value isn’t just stats. It’s that homegrown badge on his shirt. That little ‘HG’ tag? It’s basically free cash in the transfer market.

Carvalho got £27.5m last year? Dude barely had an xG/90 higher than my dog’s walking pace.

Now Liverpool want £40m for someone who still uses their parents’ Wi-Fi? That’s not pricing — that’s emotional blackmail.

Newcastle need creativity? Brighton will pay anything for proven talent?

And Dortmund? They’ll flip him like a used PS5 in 24 months.

Final thought: if you’re not paying £40m for Elliott now… ask yourself why Coutinho didn’t get this deal before he turned 36.

You guys wanna debate this? Drop your pick below — who actually pays this price? 🤔🔥

So Jerry Buss dropped $67.5M on a basketball team… and now it’s worth ten billion? That’s not just ROI — that’s alchemy with halftime shows.

His daughter still runs things like a boss, but honestly? She’s basically the CEO of an entertainment empire disguised as a sports franchise.

I’m here for the stats, but also low-key jealous of how they turned ‘magic’ into actual money.

Who else would’ve thought your team could be worth more than Apple Stores combined?

Drop your pick: Next big league takeover? 🤔

PSG had more possession than my ex’s text history… but zero real chances? Broke my coffee and my soul. Botafogo didn’t win by luck — they won by SQL queries written in blood and dread. Meanwhile, Nasser just walked out of the Rose Bowl like he owns the damn league. Who needs fancy stats when your jersey color is just existential dread? 😂 #WhoReallyHasControlOnThePitch?

Zhou Qi doesn’t need a muscle suit—he needs a weight tracker. They draft bodies now, not talent.

60.9% from deep? That’s not shooting—that’s witchcraft.

Scouts are whispering: ‘Can he survive contact?’

Meanwhile, his mom’s doing laundry… on the same scale.

So… who bets on the skeleton?

👇 Vote: First round or second round? (And yes—he still stands.)